As we usher in a new generation of consoles, everyone is looking forward at what those new games will bring. Yet we mustn’t forget that this current generation is still alive and kicking. Naughty Dog had created the perfect swan song to set the PS3 off into retirement with The Last of Us.

It’s easy to look at the service of this game and just see another post-apocalyptic violent shooter, you would be grossly mistaken. The Last of Us perfectly combines narrative with a fully fleshed out world tearing itself apart from the infected on the outside and human nature on the inside. Joel, our protagonist, is tasked with smuggling a young girl, Ellie, out of Boston and into the care of the Fireflies, a separate faction of militarized people. What takes place is the struggle of a man, grizzled by his environment, to keep Ellie safe from not only infected humans but also hunters who will kill you the moment they see you. The story really shines in its slow burn that dives into the human condition. The duo meet plenty of people one their adventures from introverts who shut themselves off from the world to survive, to those who embraced the cruelty for complex reasons. The story is Oscar worthy and the acting is the best I’ve ever seen in a video game. Troy Baker is superb as Joel and every character you meet delivers perfectly the despair and hope they share in this cruel world.

The star of this story is the relationship between Joel and Ellie. One, a man who’s lost a lot and became ruthless in order to survive, the other a young naïve girl born in a violent world and never knowing anything else. She’s inquisitive and foulmouthed while Joel is violent and cold. What starts off as a dysfunctional relationship slowly blossoms into a father-daughter relationship, but not through easy means.  Other characters you meet along the way are very fleshed out for the amount of time they are in the story. I felt something for just about everyone from compassion and caring to out right hatred.  Being able to evoke these emotions really puts Naughty Dog in a class of its own.

I never knew a post-pandemic America could look so gorgeous. From rainy destroyed cities to sunset neighborhoods to luscious forest, Naughty Dog pushed the PS3 to its limits created this fully fleshed out world. And it’s the environment is what you need to use to your advantage to survive. Stealth is important; you are not some superhuman here. You have to hide, distract, and sneak up on your enemies if you want any chance of surviving. Most of the time, if you rush in on an enemy, you will die. Humans are smart and will shoot to kill, and the infected will usually gang up on you and overwhelm you. You could find cover and try to shoot your way through, but chances are you will waste precious inventory in doing so. It makes almost every encounter thrilling and nerve racking. There are multiple ways to tackle an obstacle but taking your time to access the situation is always best.

What can make encounters even more hectic is the crafting system. Finding certain items in the world can be used to make helpful tools for battle such as a nail bomb or first aid kit. Crafting these items happens in real time, as does healing, so the player must strategically pick when to craft and heal so as to not leave yourself exposed. There is also an upgrade bench that you can upgrade your guns to make them more efficient. Even with these upgrades, you never feel like more than a man. You aren’t Nathan Drake surviving impossible odds, you are Joel and everything you go through seems plausible and realistic, aside from fungal zombies.

The Last of Us never feels like an escort mission, Ellie and other people you meet will never cause you to be discovered by the enemy. This one of the few complaints about the game, and it’s a minor one. It’s not that other people can’t cause you to be discovered, but that Ellie won’t always hide convincingly. Sometimes she’ll come into full view of the enemy and he will completely ignore her. It breaks up the realism of the game and is a little glaring. Another complaint is that Listen Mode doesn’t always work, very rarely there were times I could see an enemy hiding but in Listen Mode it wouldn’t work. These were the only issues I could find with the game and it was very minute.

Lastly we have the multiplayer; while not important to the main story, I found it to be charming and quite fun. Called Factions, the multiplayer has two modes; Survivors and Supply Raid. Survivors is a four-on-four deathmatch. The caveat is that once you die, your stay dead for the rest of the round, best of seven wins. In Supply Raid, the team has a shared number of lives, for each death the team loses a count towards the team life. When it hits zero, that team loses. In multiplayer, you are a leader of a camp, by winning or losing matches; your camp is affected positively or negatively. It’s a slight addition but pretty fun.

The Last of Us is as perfect as a video game could get.  Naughty Dog has created a near flawless video game experience that throws you on an emotional roller coaster ride from start to finish. This is by far the best Playstation 3 game and perhaps one of, if not, the best video game of this generation. 5 out of 5 stars, 10 out of 10, 100 out of 100, whatever rating score you like to use, The Last of US is a masterpiece.

If you are a Sony fan you didn’t miss very much with the Xbox reveal flop while waiting for the next big gaming console. Sony’s groundbreaking new console is quickly approaching, and eager PlayStation devotees are anxiously awaiting further news on the PS4. According to PlayStation, in terms of sheer graphical power, the PS4 may well be one of the last big graphical leaps we’re going to see in gaming. From here on, it’s a matter of improving other aspects of the console beyond graphics and sound:

New Inputs

Many of the new input devices attached to the PlayStation 4 are interesting not because they offer a new means of control but because they offer input that is actually out of your control. Namely, the PlayStation Move is going to have facial recognition, meaning it can identify you the second you stand in front of the PlayStation, according to Engadget. No more inputting your name and selecting your save files as it will simply know who is playing.

Remote Play

Handheld gaming platforms have always been thought of as the baby brothers to the big consoles. Remote play and cloud technology are poised to change that. Kotaku International reported that the PlayStation 4 will be remotely playable, so you can play your home console not only through your TV, but through a window that fits in your hands.

Social Sharing

Gaming consoles are finally catching up with the social scene. The new console allows gamers to jump in on one another’s games, post their scores on Facebook and show off their moves with the click of a physical “share” button, described in detail in a PlayStation press release.

Streaming Games

Streaming games are a controversial subject as many are worried that it will be tricky to play a game of Halo on a spotty Internet connection, but by the time the PlayStation 4 debuts, we’re going to have options like Google fiber optics and other lightning speed, reliable Internet sources, explained further by Google. Then, there is the issue of cloud security. InfoWorld noted there have been concerns over the PS3′s precarious cloud services in the past and the safety of users’ personal information stored on the console. Digital security and identity theft concerns will likely continue once the PlayStation Cloud service is launched on the PS4. The Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Sentinel Network Databook, which was released in February, shows identity theft complaints have increased 30 percent from 2011 to 2012, according to CNET. If you happen to be dealing with this kind of identity theft, you can contact protection agencies such as LifeLock via their LifeLock FB page.

…And, the Launch Titles

All that really matters at the end of the day are the games. One of the coolest in the lineup has to be Watch Dogs, a near-future open world game that puts your character in the role of a technomancer in a totally connected world. The trailer shows us the character controlling stop lights and other computer-operated equipment with the touch of a cell phone in order to manipulate the world to his will, reported by Digital Trends. According to Polygon, Jonathan Blow, of Braid, will also be releasing a new puzzler, The Witness, which may well meet the high bar that his indie classic set. With developers like Nnooo approved, more games on the way, and most importantly, Sony trying to make the console easier to develop for than its notoriously difficult PlayStation 3, it looks like the PlayStation 4 is definitely going to make an impact.

Today, Eidos Montreal announced their new game “Deus Ex: The Fall”. Gamers were extremely excited upon the first teaser trailer, hoping for a new console game possibly even a next generation title. It has been confirmed as a mobile and tablet game and not a new console installment, but the premise looks promising, following on from one of the Deus Ex novels “The Icarus Effect”. Hopefully this will give gamers the fill of Deus Ex story and action they’ve been waiting for, making the wait for a new installment in the series a little easier.

The official Synopsis is as follows;

“We are back in 2027 — a golden era for science, technology and human augmentation, but also a time of great social divide and global conspiracy. Ben Saxon, a former British SAS Mercenary who underwent physical augmentation, is desperate for the truth behind the drug conspiracy. Betrayed by his private military employers, the Tyrants, not only is his own life at risk, but for all augmented humans, time is running out…”

The game will be playable at the Square Enix booth at the 2013 Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in the South Hall.

Watch the official reveal trailer below, it explores some of what we can expect to see when the game launches “soon”.

I’m back! Well…MAYBE. It’s been about six months since I’ve edited anything on here, and almost a year since I’ve written anything of merit. So what happened?! Well, in all honesty I don’t know…a lot. I’m actually surprised that I’m still able to access this section, and am able to write. So here’s a recap of what’s been going on with me the past year (dear god this is going to be horrible)

I got a testing position with the game Primal Carnage; visited New York and liked it so much I decided to move there; moved to New York with virtually nothing in my name; continued to work with the rest of the QA team on PC as much as I could; went to get my series 63 and 7 licenses; worked in a restaurant for under minimum wage at nights to support myself in NYC; got my licenses;  became involved with an industry completely unrelated to this one; found someone who’s way out of my league who actually cares about me (yeah I couldn’t believe it either) flew back home because of family; started a Youtube gaming channel; now leaving again to another exotic location to take care of one of the family businesses, and finally spending my time traveling all over the globe doing god knows what. Phew, was that a run-on sentence? You bet your ass it was, but that’s how my life’s been. One giant, never ending, methodically insane, transparent run-on sentence that never seems to let me breath in the slightest. I think that’s a good thing, given that if life becomes too slow…well then it just seems wasted. So in short, I think I got a life.

Now, that being said, some of you may think this is me finally turning in my hat, or just admitting to being out of the industry so long, I have no real clue what’s going on. Well…no…none of those things. At least not yet anyways. The reality is, is that I really needed to take a break from this whole thing. Like, seriously just step back and look at the gaming community from a distance. See when you’re in this industry for so many years, and you’re still not seeing an ounce of profitability coming from it, then you really need to step back and just take your time with whatever it is you’re doing. I mean, this is a hobby. I don’t write these words and get a check in the mail or anything for doing so. I just…write what’s on my mind. Given that, sometimes you need to take a break, because nothing’s on your mind. You’re just seeing the same old crap from every company and community week after week. With things coming so slowly it’s worse than watching paint dry. This causes what I call a “Drama Effect” Where the people who do this stuff are so bored, they literally create bullshit just to entertain themselves. Even if that entertainment hurts those around them or themselves. We’re gamers, we live to be entertained. Which is fine in film, video games, books, music….blah blah blah. But the reality is that this is an industry. Reality dictates that the operations behind such works, are much more boring and methodical than the actual product. So story short, shit is freaking mundane as hell.

However, given enough time, exciting things do happen…usually. Like say for instance, the rolling out of new consoles (which I will get into a little bit) Or the introduction of new and exciting games that sound fun. Sometimes I like to have fun….And if I’m not having fun, and I’m not getting paid, then why fuck am I doing it? You just become a press slut to this industry, and you’re valued less than a press whore because you’re not even getting paid to do it. Now some will argue that this is all towards an eventual goal of some sorts. Usually this is the hope of earning cash in this field. However, the likely-hood of that happening is extremely remote, and you might as well hold a cup out on the street…you’ll be more likely to make money that way. Does that sound cynical; yes. But I’m not being cynical in the slightest. I just happen to be a realist, as upsetting as that may be.

OK, so lets just get into some of the thoughts I have about things, before I lull your asses to sleep with my mundane diatribe. Lets start with the consoles, because that’s something exciting and new. So now we know it’s the Wii U, PS4, and Xbox One (which is confusing as hell given this is the third installment)

I wanna start with Xbox, but I’m not gonna bullshit, I really don’t know anything about it. I didn’t watch the conference, even though I got an invite to attend it or something. Apparently there were no games shown, or at least a lack of them. Instead, from what I heard, they focused on informing the audience of the new hardware, and what can be accomplished with it. This seems to upset people, and seemed to during the Sony conference as well. For me…it’s like, “What do you expect people?!” they save things for E3 and the million other conferences this year. I mean, things aren’t the way they used to be. Where it took a while for the main consumer to get news about things. These days we have technology that streams what’s happening in the moment, right as it’s happening. This means they have to dole out things at much slower pace, because we all have access to it as soon as the announcers lips open. I’m actually glad they decided to have separate conferences for the hardware. That means they can spend most of E3 talking about shit we care about, mainly the games. This time it can be like, is the hardware in the hands of developers; yes. Does it work; yes. What will the price be; yes. Now lets talk about video games, and get on with it. Though I don’t like how they basically said the next innovation in gaming, is television.

Lets move on to PS4 shall we? Now this conference I did watch, and because of that I’m going to get a hate comment here or there calling me a fanboy or something. No, I’m not, could care less if I had missed that one too. I just happened to have some free moments at the time. While they did show some games, they mainly focused on the hardware and tech demo’s too. Which, again I liked, because it means they won’t ramble on for an hour about the console at E3 either. I walked away from that conference looking forward to the new machine, and what kind of games may be on it in the near future. Honestly though, from what I saw, all I can really remember was the new Killzone game which looked interesting, and some crap about “moving” your own adventure. I did like the social media aspect, and how they’re really putting a lot of eggs into it. I think they learned from the last round that community is important, and it should be taken seriously. Again, not an expert, but we’re gamers, and when shit is not blowing up in our face, we’re compelled to blow shit up on someone’s Facebook. However I really didn’t like how they said, “We want nothing to get in the way of your game” then for like the rest of the conference went on to say, “Here’s all this tacky stuff that’s gonna get between you and your game.”

OK, so here’s my thoughts on the Wii U. It’s out, it’s fun, and good games are probably on the way. So go out and buy it if you want it. It’s unique and doesn’t make me wanna kill myself like the Wii did, so I think that’s something good. There’s also this really cool horror game I was watching Melyssa play, that seemed really fun. So I’d say look for that, whatever the title is. Think it had zombies in it. So naturally I’m gonna buy one eventually. Maybe when my life slows down, and I actually have time to do that stuff.

Anyways I’m going to abruptly end this editorial, because I got a lot on my mind to rant about, but I think I should space it out. Does this article make sense; no. Does it work; yes. Am I just doing it to clamor attention to me and the site again after being gone for over a year? Hell I don’t know. I honestly think I just wanted to rattle on about things I felt towards this whole industry, and add some substance on what I’ve found interesting this past year. So if I’ve left you thoroughly unsatisfied, I’m sorry. I’ll get back to writing more soon, mainly in the department of editorials, but right now I just had some free time on my hands, and felt like writing this. Cheap I know, but like I said, I’m not getting paid. I’m writing about things I like in general, or stuff I think about. So here’s my two cents on whatever the heck this was about. I hoped you enjoyed this sarcastic adventure with me, and look forward to writing part two.

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free,” quote from the Statue of Liberty. Microsoft took this one to a whole new level. Let’s have some fun and break it down: “Give me your tired… they’ve been working too hard.” Let’s make them lazy by not making them lift the controller. “Give me your poor”, so they can drool over this new technology that they can’t afford. “Your huddled masses”, that will definitely kill each other on release day; “Yearning to breathe free”, so they can have the latest and greatest. Before you get your panties in a bunch about getting excited over the Xbox One, let me shed some light on Xbox One.

First of all, Microsoft, in case you weren’t aware, there’s already an Xbox One. It was the first one. For the love of God, please count. OH NO WAIT, you DO know how! Remember when you were planning on naming the new Xbox the ’720′? Good! So after the console drops, whip out your calculators, and add 360 and 720. What do you get? Redundancy. It could be worse – it could have been the Durango. Way to go Microsoft Marketing team, now please, PLEASE, stop!

So, why are you naming this Xbox One? Oh, you wanted to forget about the first two.  Just promise us that you won’t name the next Xbox, the One also because you wanted to forget about the first three. Look, if I can’t forget about my ex-boyfriends, you can’t forget about the previous Xbox consoles. Life just doesn’t work that way.

Moving on to our favorite part, the fact that we don’t really know what it is. When everyone else’s technology gets sleek and chic, Microsoft decides to be a rebel and go full retro and hipster on us, by giving it the design of a shiny black VCR, or a shoe box. Or a cable box. I looked at it further and then thought, “Oh, they’re actually trying to make it look like an improved original Xbox!” Despising the whole thing anyway, I felt I gave them too much credit.

As I understand it, this will probably cost me my unborn children, in addition to their childrens’ children, and etc. That’s fine and dandy, and I don’t mind selling my soul for it, but not making it backwards compatible? No, I’m really not happy. After I dropped hundreds of dollars on games, controllers, headsets, wireless adapters, hard drives, and whatever else, to not make it backwards compatible is a straight Hadouken to the babymaker. Let me get this straight: I spend $400-500 on the console, plus $60 for another controller, and about $200 to start me off with XBone games. And when my 360 breaks, I then have to spend $200 to buy a new one? Are they OUT OF THEIR BLOODY MINDS?! Microsoft, get over yourself. You might be the 1%, but your consumers are not.

Which brings me to my next point, I’m certainly not going to spend almost $1k on this thing to be taken over by my parents and brothers so it can be left on ALL DAMN DAY due to watching TV and playing videogames, just so it can burn out. Clever devils, aren’t they? You buy the system, it gets burnt out, and then you ship it off and don’t see it again for a month, or your warranty gets voided and you have to buy a new one. We’re all onto your game.

Speaking of games, I really wish Microsoft showed off something we should get excited about. FIFA, Forza Motorsport 5 – those games are still a thing? And before they announced their final game, they brought on Steven Spielberg to talk about a new Halo TV series in the making. I did get excited about that, but that has nothing to do with the Xbox One! They did it so all of us Halo fans can bust one out and get ratings up. However, as quickly as it ascended, it has to quickly descend… by announcing yet another Call of Duty, because we simply can’t get enough of this franchise. However, they added custom characterization where you can alter your face and looks, which comes in handy with a FPS, am I right? I do have to admit that the game looked cool, since they didn’t give us much of anything else to say about it. I know I initially got really excited about having the K9 companion, but then the grey cloud of dread loomed over my head. The dog is going to die, or at least will die in one of the future games. You’re going to have to give it a funeral, and it’s going to be the saddest goddamn thing since the death of your dog Sparky, 5 years ago. As sad and messed up as this is going to sound, PETA is going to be all over this like they were with Pokémon. I can see it now – I’m going to sit back and cry that my puppy died, and then shake my head that PETA is flipping out, and the Westboro Baptist Church is going to protest with “THANK GOD FOR DEAD DOGS” signs. Yes, I can absolutely see this unfolding.

Let’s talk tech now by starting with the positives first. Can we have a slow clap for finally getting Blu-ray? On a serious note, I like the Skype capability, especially as someone who does use it often. I do like the switching ability as well, even though I’m usually only playing videogames or watching TV – not both. What I don’t like? Face recognition. If you happen to get mauled by a chimpanzee (God forbid), you’re pretty screwed, aren’t you? And the fact that the dashboard will show what you were last doing?! That can make for a really awkward situation. I don’t want anyone to remember my history – ever. Now, of course the Kinect is required for the Xbox One, which sucks in itself. I swear, we’re one step away from being like those fat people from Wall-E. I find it easier to go to whatever commands I desire by controller, but I understand it takes effort, and effort is not exactly supported anymore. Welcome to the new age!

So, I think I covered the essentials. Unless Microsoft presents us with something revolutionary, I have nothing to say that’s really all that positive. I don’t want a relationship with my Xbox, I don’t want it to be a family system. And I certainly don’t want it to be a “water cooler” (what the hell was that even about?! Consoles are NOT used for that purpose). Bottom line, buyers and Xbox enthusiasts just got royally XBoned.

Poker Night at the Inventory 2 is TellTale’s latest Xbox Live Arcade, Steam and Playstation Network game and is, as the title suggests, a Poker game at it’s core. More than that, this downloadable title is an example of how great personalities and some clever writing can make a functional but not particularly exciting card game into an engaging and fun experience for the player.

After a short and cameo filled introduction the player, aptly named and referenced to as “Player”, is introduced to their adversaries for the night’s game; Brock from “The Venture Bros.”, Claptrap from “Borderlands”, Ash from “Army of Darkness” and Sam of “Sam and Max”. Other characters from these titles and other telltale titles drift in and out during the course of tournaments.

The Cast of Poker Night at the Inventory 2

The writing in this game is superb, drawing from popular culture, developer-in jokes and character backstories, always keeping the player engaged and chuckling throughout. TellTale has made the focus of the game the characters and their interactions whilst playing, not the poker itself. This works well in this game as the mix of nostalgia and humour, brought to life by the characters and Glad0s, allow the player get wrapped up in the experience not the base gameplay, often hanging out for the cast’s quips and comments more than counting the chips on the table and watching for tells.

The poker in game feels a little drab itself, and without the writing would probably be just another basic poker game. The choice of Glad0s as dealer helps to liven up the gameplay as she regularly drops from the ceiling to provide ‘helpful’ comments to the player. The game also features character animations to give away when they are bluffing, but they are not common or very well executed. The Player may also buy drinks for the cast from the bartender Mad Moxxi of the  Borderlands games. They make the ‘tells’ from others more obvious, but they still didn’t play much of a role in the results of the tournaments. When you get to playing you get a choice between “Texas Hold ‘Em” and “Omaha”, both games play well and the tournaments serve as opportunities for bragging rights, and more importantly, unlocks. After completing challenges you are offered the chance to win a special item from each character’s title, such as Ash’s Necronomicon and Claptrap’s Video Game Award, each awarding the player with unlocks outside of the game.

Borderlands 2 Unlocks

The game’s brilliant writing is added to by the ability to get heads and skins for Borderlands 2 on all platforms, and then platform specific unlocks including avatar items, Team Fortress 2 hats and exclusive themes. These unlocks keep the game playable well after the dialogue starts to repeat, but once you complete these there is little to keep you playing after the occasional game for nostalgia’s sake. There are also felt, deck and chip variants for each title to unlock, purchasable with ‘unlock tokens’ won in tournaments. These re-skin the bar and game aspects, but don’t affect gameplay.

Overall this game is quite fun and well worth the price tag, quite cheap on all platforms. The jokes, dialogue and unlocks make the game quite addictive and entertaining, but the replay value drops once the dialogue starts to loop and the unlocks are all collected. Some extra modes, multiplayer and more dialogue would help with the replay value, but the game is still great. For some laughs, free items and a good bit of poker fun this is well worth the download. A solid 8/10!

Okay, so funny story: I’m feeling deja-vu right now. Why? Because exactly one year ago today I was sitting in my kitchen, pounding out a quick list of “lessons” learned from the midnight release of “Avengers.” Now, a full year later, I’m sitting in my bedroom, about to pound out some wayward thoughts about another Marvel movie, Iron Man 3. Wow, thing’s don’t really change for the geek blogger, do they?

So last year, in my list of lessons, I made it a point to state that fans of the comic book heroes should forget Iron Man 2 ever happened. Iron Man 3 only drives the final nail into that coffin. Seriously, I watched the second movie about two weeks ago, trying to remind myself what was wrong with it. Was it the performance easily phoned in by Downey, Jr? Was it the utterly ridiculous accent affected by Mickey Rourke? Was it the over-the-top Justin Hammer, or the blatant overcompensation of the Stark Expo? No, it was ALL of that, and what should have been an amazing look into the day-to-day psychosis of Tony Stark ended up being a cartoon movie on par with Phantom Menace, just sans a motion capture fan-pandering and the utter brilliance of Liam Neeson.

Iron Man 3 is quick to shed any vestiges of that previous misstep. Borrowing heavily from the same character development and loss that worked so well in the Dark Knight Rises (yes, I am making that comparison here), Iron Man 3 manages to capture both desperation and the bravado of Tony Stark, while still showcasing that the man can feel pain. Actual, legitimate pain. Remember, this is a character created specifically to be unlikable, and now we the audience not only see his vulnerable side, but we see him suffer because of it.

We watch as he loses not just his home and armor, but his peace of mind. We watch him dream up nightmares of what he has seen and done. We witness the stress of actually BEING Iron Man finally take its inevitable toll on what is in fact just a man. A brilliant, arrogant genius of a man, but ultimately still just a man. We watch as it robs him of any sense of security he might have had, and cast him into a well of self-doubt and fear that takes actual effort to claw out of. This Tony Stark cannot, and will not, just buy himself freedom from his demons. No, now he has to actually face them, and surpass them, before he loses himself.

No more chasing shadows and suppressing his shortcomings, no, this time we get to see the real Tony. And, as he puts it so eloquently in the film’s closing moments, we watch as he realizes the suit wasn’t his obsession, nor his therapy, but rather it was his “cocoon.”

That, my fellow comic fans, is a story worth seeing. Never you mind that we saw it play out to utter perfection last summer with Bruce Wayne, this time we get to see it again, and watch it happen to quite possibly the most deserving douchebag in the entire comic book canon. Hell, its so worth seeing, that I’ll probably go again next week, just to see if I missed anything.

Some random tidbits now, before my coherence leaves me:

Ben Kingsley, OMGWTF. The man still has it, and in droves. Ditto for Gwyneth Paltrow, who proves, and quite definitively, that she has an inner badass that just needs the right method to convey.

Blight

While I am aware that this film’s plot was culled from the “Extremis” storyline in the comics, the entire time I watched Aldrich Killian “do his thing,” I kept picturing Blight from Batman Beyond. Not that I have a problem with that, Blight was awesome. I just couldn’t shake that notion. (Which, in hindsight, is also probably why I started thinking of Dark Knight Rises…tenuous connection, I know, but one that my mind is already predisposed to making.)

Obligatory post-credit scene? Check. We get to see Ruffalo again. Do not miss out on that, especially all you Tony/Bruce shippers.

And lastly, one does not mess with Don Cheadle. Seriously, don’t mess with him, OR his toys. WARMACHINEROX

This rant has been brought to you by the letters S and D, for sleep-deprived.

Everyone has a favorite teacher; that dedicated, funny, sympathetic role model who helped shape your formative years and provided comfort from the often callous and vicious world of school angst and the pitfalls of growing up. Think about that person for a moment, and what made them great. Picture them in your mind, hear the memory of their voice in your ears. Got a clear image of them? Good.

I bet your mental image looks nothing like this:

This man is Eikichi Onizuka, age 22, virgin, and for a class full of misfits and “social rejects,” he was that favorite teacher, the man who challenged and taught them all about the “real world.” How? By just being himself, and teaching them how NOT to act.

Great Teacher Onizuka was one of those “unlikely anime,” the type that is completely devoid of fantastic elements, lolicons, twenty minute power-ups and skimpy clothing, but still manages to pull the viewer in and keep them interested. Rather than deal with otherworldly enemies threatening human existence, it focused more on the trials and tribulations of being a high school student, which at times could be just as chaotic, and just as terrifying. It lacked “good guys” and “villains,” eschewing instead for a whole lot of gray-shaded cast members who were as petty as they were devoted to their jobs. In short, GTO (as it was so fondly referred to) was a sort of “dirty shonen” slice of life series, more concerned with its world and residents than impressing its reader base.

And that was not a bad thing at all.

A lot of that appeal centered around the aforementioned Onizuka, himself a social misfit more concerned with sex and violence than educating the youth of Japan. A former biker gang leader, he somehow managed to leave the “thug life” behind, enroll in a “5th rate college” and graduate with a degree in…something. You never really find out how studious he was, nor where his “academic” inclinations actually lie, given his preoccupation with porn, fighting and “keeping it real.” But next thing you see, he’s trying to find gainful employment, and failing miserably. Blame his bleached hair, his “yakuza tendencies” or the constant mountain of arrogance that he’s the proud king of, but poor Onizuka can’t seem to catch a break.

All that changes the day he meets, then loses, the “girl of his dreams:” a spunky high school student whom the future Great Teacher is absolutely positive he will finally lose his virginity to. And just as they’re about to do the deed, she literally jumps out a window and into the arms of another man. Who does he lose this wellspring of sexual energy to? Her high school teacher, a dumpy, bespectacled man with a sour face and apparently all the pull in the world. On that day, he swears to become the best teacher in Japan. Why? To get laid.

Let’s put aside the blatantly horrendous motivation for this decision, and focus on Onizuka for a moment. What does he have to offer his students? Forget about the three “R’s,” as Onizuka can barely read himself. Valuable lessons on life? Does one really want to accept the words of a “reformed” biker and generally viewed “lowlife?” Common sense? Not at all, since he’s doing this for the worst reason possible. For all intents and purposes, this man should never be anywhere near children, let alone given the task of teaching them. And yet, that’s exactly what he does.

Finally scoring a job at a prestigious private academy, Onizuka is immediately given the worst class in the school, made up of people either just like him, or well on their way to becoming just like him. Wannabe gang-bangers, unmotivated geniuses, promiscuous girls, awkward kids, and all manner of students who just don’t fit in. These are the students destined to fall through the cracks of the educational system, that the rest of the faculty have given up on, but can’t simply expel because their tuition checks have already been deposited. So, shunted off to the side and ignored, they plod through one ineffective teacher after another, until Eikichi ends up at their door one day, the latest in a long line of schmucks suckered into teaching the class. The “Great Teacher” brings in bluster in the door with him, trailing arrogance like a proud bridal train, ready to talk some “sense” into these students. How do they take to this new teacher, so completely “different” from any they have ever encountered before?

As far as they’re concerned, Onizuka isn’t any different from the others, except maybe that he’s dumber than any one of them, and starving for respect and attention. And they hate him.

Why? Because they can see right through him. They know he’s not a teacher. They know he only cares about having fun. From his “tough guy” facade to his horrible sense of humor, this is a man worthy of only their contempt, which they heap on him in droves. hell, the only reason he’s even in this class is because they’ve driven off every single other teacher assigned to them, and the administrators hope that they will do the same to Onizuka.

Until he starts saving them, one student at a time. Whether it’s giving them a reason to live, putting their problems into perspective, telling them to get over themselves (often with associated punches, kicks and getting his own ass handed to him), helping them get “revenge” on those who wronged them, teaching them to stand up for themselves or just not take any s**t from “the man,” the Great Teacher imparts whatever wisdom and street smarts he can, while often taking lumps and plenty of attitude along the way. It’s like the School of Hard Knocks, 90210-style.

His tenacity eventually overcomes even the most stubborn (or stuck up) of the students he encounters, and by year’s end, he manages to reform the worst class at the academy into something resembling a productive learning unit, while teaching even some of his “colleagues” the value of knowing themselves…or at least giving them lessons in self-extracting their heads from their own asses. A little humility goes a long way, and while Onizuka might not know the meaning of the word, he sure can impart its value on others.

That tenacity is the key to GTO’s appeal. Knowing from the outset that Eikichi Onizuka is an “eternal f**k-up who just doesn’t give a s**t” lends him a certain humanity that drives the story. You know he’s going to fail, yet you cheer for him anyway. When he occasionally succeeds, you celebrate with him. When he gets caught with his pants down (literally, on more than a few occasions), you feel for him, but also realize that it’s only going to make him more careful in the future. His crass manners have a certain charm to them, you root for him to find the “right girl,” and when he finally gets the better of his naysayers, you want to clap him on the back and buy him a drink.

Onizuka is the ultimate underdog. And like most underdogs, you want to see him win, regardless of whether its against “corrupt” educators, “conniving” students, or even his own shortcomings. You want Eikichi Onizuka to win. And I guess in that regard, he already has.

Gratuitous shot of…well, everything.

You can consumer GTO in a number of ways: the 1997-2002 manga, while out of print, is excellent. The 1999 anime is a faithful adaptation of the manga, and easier to track down. The 1998 J-Drama (with 99 sequel film) is a bit short on the plot, but the actor who plays Onizuka is phenomenal. Or you can look for the 2012 reboot. Honestly, it doesn’t matter: any version of GTO is worth consuming. Honestly, how many properties can say that these days? There is also a prequel manga “GTO: The Early Years,” and sequel”14 Days in Shonan,” both available now from Vertical Publishing.

Don’t be so Mainstream

Nintendo has been a household name for almost thirty years now. It is one of the most powerful brands in the world according to Forbes. They are KNOWN as one of the most innovative companies to date. They have been responsible for some of the most well known characters that children and adults recognize globally. These are all the reasons why the industry looks to Nintendo to bring back those qualities.

Today however, we have too many re-makes and not enough new ideas coming from Nintendo. When Nintendo produces it’s often a Golden Egg, but they need far more than a few 3DS titles to stay competitive.

Nintendo held the torch when it came to ushering in the casual & young market of gamers. People who haven’t picked up a video game since the original Pac-Man were comfortable buying the Nintendo Wii. It was a child friendly system that called for active movement. Games like Ghost Squad and House of the Dead brought back those “Arcade” memories, and titles like “Just Dance” got everyone moving with ease. Millions of people were excited for video games once again. Now six years later the flame has died down. The Wii-U is out, it’s selling at a decent pace and it needs time to grow, but will it be enough to leave the footprint that the Nintendo Wii did? Will they be able to convince the casual market to choose them over PlayStation, Xbox and the ever consistently growing mobile industry?

Even as an Old School Gamer, you need new content

The success of the Wii was because of the casual market’s support and Nintendo has done a poor job marketing their latest system to that market. The Wii-U launch on a financial basis isn’t doing a bad job. However the hardcore audience, (the very audience they wanted to sell this console to) is disappointed and starved for the new and innovative content they are known for. Re-imagining games for nostalgic appeal is a great sell in today’s industry. Older players love the feeling of familiar levels re-visited, and the old mechanics help usher in some younger gamers.
No-one is more guilty of reanimating their best franchises like Nintendo, and that is not necessarily a bad thing; they do it very well and always seem to breathe new life into the classics, but where are the truly “New” concepts? Now the competition has changed, the reason people play has changed, when and where people play has changed. The mobile games industry takes more and more attention from the Nintendo DS. Although Nintendo doesn’t have to fear tablet and phone gaming….yet; they are in a position to dominate once again. Nintendo needs new games and gamers want a damn good reason to play them.

We have already heard the griping about the launch line-up for the Wii-U, and the lack of games available for the console right now. Even with ports of titles like Assassins Creed III and Batman Arkham City that play in a unique way, gamers don’t care; they want the “Nintendo Experience”. They have to make people understand why they need a Wii-U after they have burned out their Wii. Nintendo has to convince the gamers that after they have spent their money that this is where they should be spending their time. Nintendo needs to take the gloves off and show everyone why their software can last for decades. Nintendo needs to convince that casual crowd that they can still entertain and provide a safe haven for the younger gamers. This next year Nintendo has to prove why they belong in your life.

1. This next generation, people will be asking themselves one thing: “What kind of experience can I get here and nowhere else”. Nintendo’s campaign should be focused on one phrase: “Only on Nintendo”

Today, Creative Director over at Microsoft, said on is now, private twitter account, that he doesn’t understand something, here’s the quote from his twitter before making it private:

I’ll preface this with, this is an opinion on what he said, and my thoughts on an “Always on” console. Gaming on a console, isn’t always meant to be a strictly online deal. If I recall, multiplayer gaming in the past was, you, your friends over someone’s place, and your drinking soda and yelling and having fun with each other. Online gaming is recent, and lets be honest, a console doesn’t need to always be on to be enjoyed. You play some games by yourself, other games you play online because, guess what they are meant for multiplayer. But lets throw in the idea of, single player experience, like the recent release of Bioshock Infinite. Single Player only, and if you have a crappy connection, you can’t play it, if the new Microsoft console was current generation.

Makes no sense, right? All devices nowadays aren’t always on, but I’ll say this, phones need to since they require an connection to, you know, call a person! A 3DS doesn’t need a connection to play any of the games, it’s just the extra stuff created by the developer for you to access. Isn’t need to play the game, offline, but to add to the experience. An “Always On” console alienates anybody who doesn’t have a stable connection anywhere in the world. It alienates the gamer, who doesn’t play online because it’s not their cup of tea. It alienates the gamer, who, doesn’t have the internet because they just moved, and to pass the time in the morning or at night, they game! An “Always on” console, is just a weird version of DRM, if you can connect and verify your console, its a brick and you wasted money, but in the long run, in this case, Microsoft still makes money.

In the long run, gaming is offline first, then online. Microsoft, don’t cater to people who play online only. Guess what, people still play offline, and with their friends, on a single console, in a single room, and have a blast. Microsoft, I may be a fanboy of PlayStation, but I manage to think as a person. Don’t squander, the generation win you’ve gained this generation over Sony, only to lose, a large chunk of your fanbase over an “Always On” console.