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By Charles On 19 Apr, 2012 At 12:16 AM | Categorized As Movie News, Reviews | With 0 Comments

No GravatarIt’s easy to say that everything’s been done. Because it mostly has been. Be it movies, manga, novels, games- how often do the words “revolutionary” or “genre-defining” actually live up to the hype. So when something truly original or well done actually does come around, it all too often tends to get marginalized, or judged by some inane criteria that does no justice to the work itself.

Case in point: Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s latest film, “Cabin in the Woods.” This is one of those films that has a horrible name (even if it does hearken back to another movie with the same premise from long ago, starring Bruce Campbell) but delivers so much in the way of entertainment, that it definitely should not be skipped. And yet, looking at reviews online reads something like a troll festival (which, by the way, also would make an awesome movie).

“Don’t waste your money on this movie. it was more of a comedy than horror. If you really must watch it wait for the DVD or until it comes on cable.”

“Don’t go see this movie its the worst movie made in history save about 2 hours of your life it doesen’t even make sense even at the end. Just don’t see this movie.”

“Cheesy acting, bad casting, highly predictable and a poor story line that is all over the place. This movie may appeal to the gore/horror fan but just about everyone else will have a reason to hate it. I like quality films that stimulate the mind but this was nothing close.”

Bad reviews? Just another day at the office for these working (soon-to-be) stiffs.

This is just a sampling of what Fandango had to offer. There’s more of it, should you be interested. (And these are all direct quotes.)

One thing I need to mention: “Cabin in the Woods” is not your father’s slasher flick. While it does contain the requisite amount of blood and gore, this film also highlights something that has been missing since Wes Craven decided to lampoon himself back in ’96: humor, and a veritable ton of tropes. This becomes apparent from the first scene, depicting two working stiffs talking about their upcoming weekend plans (and some rivalry with Japan) and continues throughout the 90+ minutes of frontal shots, cheap sex, flowing booze and zombie rednecks. Seriously, every possible trope found within the slasher genre is here and on display. The difference is, this movie, to paraphrase a great thinker, “just don’t give a f***.”

“Cabin In The Woods” is that rare horror film that intentionally doesn’t take itself seriously. At all. Which, in the end, makes the movie more entertaining. Calling it a comedy actually works: a good deal of the scenes are supposed to make you laugh while you jump (something more serious horror flicks fail at miserably). Cliched characters abound here: the Jock, Slut, Geek, Virgin and Fool are all present, but are, at the same time, artificial along with being named. In fact, at times “Cabin in the Woods” actively criticizes the actions of its main players, calling them out for being “too whatever.”

From George Kirk to Thor to a “dumb jock:” the decline of Chris Hemsworth becomes apparent in this green letterman

This open critique of the slasher genre continues up until the “twist” ending, which not only proves that Whedon still has the same talent and knack for grandeur that made “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” a huge success (not to mention the ambition that was Firefly), but also shows that he pays attention to what others in his field do, and finds creative ways to refute/mess with them. Not since Scream sent up a genre Craven essentially created has a movie achieved such a level of intentional shlock. And believe me, it’s worth it just to see what he got right. (Points for the integration of yuurei into the story- how hard IS it to kill 9 year olds?)

Which is why I find some of the internet critiques so annoying. Calling the acting cheesy and the plot predictable essentially proves that the reviewer was missing the point- it’s supposed to be. Same goes for expecting a slasher flick to “stimulate the mind.” Seriously, if you’re aiming for haute cinema, why do you expect to find it in the horror section? You don’t go into Coppola’s “Dracula” expecting Bela Lugosi or Count Orlock, so why the sudden disappointment now?

Does she survive? Do we care?

Now I will admit, I did not expect much from “Cabin in the Woods.” I went because some friends whose opinions I respect both gushed about it via Facebook over the weekend. The trailers, commercials and even poster ads all make the movie out to be a re-imagining of “Evil Dead,” or a serious foray into “traditional horror,” when in actuality the movie is more akin to “Evil Dead II”- ridiculous and unforgiving against itself. It’s not afraid to be over the top, but rather relishes in its display of parody and corn syrup. It doesn’t aim high, because those bars will never be reached, but is perfectly happy to deliver exactly what the audience expects of it, then throws in a few (literal) bones to keep things interesting. In the end, what’s left is equal parts send-up and tribute to a genre that is definitely played out, but still draws the faithful in. “Cabin in the Woods” is the reward for years of slogging through mindless slasher flicks: an honest story we’ve all seen before, full of blood and tropes, that actually goes where a lot of people hope its more “serious” counterparts would.

By otakuman5000 On 20 Nov, 2011 At 01:53 AM | Categorized As Editorials, Featured, Movie News, Reviews, Videos | With 0 Comments

No GravatarThe first part of the finale to the Twilight franchise is now out in theaters and everyone is going crazy over it. At the same time, you have those out there who still are hesitant to check out the franchise that thousands of people, mostly young girls, have watched since the first Twilight movie. So that begs the question, is this new movie the best in the series so far? Or is it part of the stereotype of how bad the movie franchise is? I decided to find out first hand and check out the midnight showing to Breaking Dawn Part 1. All this and some more on this new episode of THE VERDICT. It’s time to choose, should we get down with Team Edward and Jacob, or pass it up?

 

 

 

 

The Honeymoon

 

Jacob to the Rescue

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Charles On 1 Nov, 2011 At 10:10 PM | Categorized As Featured, Movie News, Reviews | With 0 Comments

No GravatarWell, its over. October, my favorite month of the year, over and done. This year I had one of the most eventful Octobers in recent memory, despite lacking con attendance, or managing to eat something pumpkin flavored every day, as I usually attempt to. But it was still memorable nonetheless, because I did manage to accomplish something I had been wanting to try for years.

Lower Karazhan- People actually break IN to this place.

I watched horror movies. A lot of them. One every day, give or take. And most of them underground, low budget, cheap thrills. This is something I’m proud of, actually- normally my Octobers consist of nightly walks, a few movies here and there, and a whole lot of creepy dungeon crawling on World of Warcraft. This year, since I mercifully quit that addiction just as the month was starting, I had to fill my time with other things. So I set out to cram as much Halloween-related stuff into my nights as possible, breaking the idea of quality and replacing it entirely with nothing more than pure quantity.

Here’s how it broke down.

Best movie nobody heard of: “Bereavement.” A prequel to the indie-horror slasher flick “Malevolence,” this movie told the story of a boy abducted from his parent’s front yard and forced to help an insane serial killer with his work. The setting- rural America, a rundown meat packing plant, and local school- worked to make this tale more tense than some others. Added to it the somewhat offbeat nature of both the killer and the boy (who feels no pain, literally), and what came out was a twisted, violent, bloody mess of a movie that kept me fully engrossed for its duration. And I liked the ending, which is so rare these days.

Best “classic” movie: This past month, I made sure to watch at least a few “established” movie franchises. While I avoided the “Saw,” “Halloween,” “Nightmare/Friday the 13th” movies, as I’ve seen them enough, I did manage to partake of some Romero, Craven and Williamson blood candy. I was tempted to say “Scream” for this one. I loved that movie, and the recent third sequel (Scre4m). But the movie I enjoyed the most this past month? “Dawn of the Dead.”

I love a good zombie movie. I love watching hordes of the undead rampaging through the streets, terrorizing people. In fact, in the past few years, the movies I have remembered the most have all been zombie flicks- be it the Nazi marauding death machines in “Dead Snow,” or the shambling hordes standing between Woody T Harrelson and his search for a twinkie in “Zombieland.” “Dawn of the Dead” is equal parts comedy and survival-horror joint- trying to stay alive while trapped in a shopping mall, as the dead close in around a small cluster of survivors. Watching those survivors slowly go crazy and turn on each other. The last, mad dash for freedom. And the hope of better days, trounced in the end credits. It’s probably the most realistic zombie movie ever made (sorry, Tallahassee), and full of enough humanity to leave a lasting impact.

Whiskey not included

Movie that made me take a drink right after the credits rolled: “Last House in the Woods.” Not to be confused with the revenge/horror “Last House on the Left,” this was an Italian movie, that made me never want to watch another Italian horror film as long as I live. Part of the Ghost House Underground series of indie films, it revolved around a pair of lovers beset upon by thugs, a well-to-do family living alone at the edge of the forest, mutant freaks, cannibalism, and a decent-sized body count.

I should have known better. After all, I love the films of Dario Argento, and that man is one twisted soul. But what I got, after a somewhat confusing intro, degenerated into a mindless gore-fest, with predictably bloody effects, minimalist music and an ending so profoundly messed up, that I immediately needed a swig of something strong to block it out. If you can find this one on DVD, watch it. It’s not for the faint of heart, but shows exactly what passes for horror in Italy. God help us all.

Best foreign film: “Let The Right One In.” I watched, in all, maybe 6 foreign movies this month, two of them Japanese, two Italian, and two Scandinavian. The Japanese ones were predictably weird, with bizarre endings and strange cinematography. The Italian ones…well, read the previous entry. One of the Scandinavian ones was “Troll Hunter,” which I reviewed this past weekend, and the other one was a delicious vampire film that managed to do right what ever single vampire love story fails to.

Based on the bestselling novel of the same name, “Let The Right One In” is, at heart, a love story between two 12 year old children- blond-haired Oskar, a perpetual victim of bullying, and dark haired Eli, a vampire trapped in the body of a preteen. When Eli moves in next door, Oskar is delighted to have a new friend, who helps him find himself. As for Eli, she begins to see a new world, and a new life, in the form of innocent Oskar. The film is a solid mix of blood and honey- you cheer when Oskar (finally) stands up for himself, and expresses his feelings to the vampire next door, and you cringe when Eli loses her caretaker and is forced to hunt for food, leaving behind a trail of bodies. But this film succeeds where “Twilight” fails miserably- it makes the characters both human and believable. And that makes the romance believable as well.

“WTF” did I just watch movie: “Hausu.” I said I watched some Japanese movies this month, and this one was the hands-down strangest. Having been a fan of J-horror for some time, I had heard about this movie, but never had the chance to actually see it. I heard it was bizarre, and very f-ed up, and figured it was a blend of the terrifying “Ringu” (The Ring) and decidedly art-house “Jigoku” (Hell). Well…

“Hausu” (House) is a typical haunted house movie, with a number of young girls traveling to the countryside to visit the Aunt of one of their friends, Oshare. Upon arriving, they each start dying, one by one, eaten by the malevolent entities in the “House,” until none remain. Sounds pretty much like standard fare, right? Not in the slightest. The girls all have names that stereotype their glaring character type (Kung-Fu fights, Sweet is adorable), and are themselves caricatures of stereotypical schoolgirls. The monster that lives in the “House” is equal parts lonely spirt, and her bakeneko. There are random musical numbers throughout the movie, lots of dancing, and at one point a girl is killed by pillows. If this sounds utterly ridiculous, it is. And worth every minute you spend watching it.

Movie that kept me awake all night: “Paranormal Activity.” I love these movies for three reasons: first, they take place in suburban tract housing, not predictably old gothic homes; second, they feature demons, not ghosts, and this offers a wealth more storytelling potential; third, each one is better than the previous. So when I watched the third installment the week before Halloween, I spent the rest of the night catching up on the previous 2. And let me tell you something- I stayed awake all night. I’m not ashamed to admit that, either. Paranormal Activity messes me up, keeps me jumping and won’t let me look away, because unlike any other film of its ilk (like, say, 13 Ghosts), it has a healthy dose of realism in it that makes the back corners of my mind believe in it. Blair Witch did the same to me in 1999, The Ring did it in 2003, and Paranormal Activity does it now.

The third installment was the best one yet, with slowly building tension, an ending that hits you before you expect it, and enough story to fit it into the continuity prepared by the first two films. It’s not a seamless fit, they did have to do a bit of retconning, but the end result features the most tension I’ve felt in a “cam flick” to date, and the ending sequence is damn near flawless, as far as I’m concerned.

Best “stupid” horror movie: “Dinoshark.” Roger Corman + Eric Balfour + Bad CG x Lovely Mexican scenery / no plot whatsoever = Uwe Bolle’s worst nightmare.

Most squandered potential: “Shadows of the  Dead.” I got this in one of those “12 Movies for $5” sets they often sell at Best Buy around this time of year, and while the premise was intriguing, the end result was just plan pathetic. The story is about a young couple who get lost in the woods on the way to a cabin for a romantic weekend. The man get bitten by a zombie and starts dying, so he of course infects his girlfriend and they are stuck alone, in the woods, dying together. Potential story-lines involving love and the struggle to retain one’s humanity are there, but are easily overshadowed by the hokey dialogue, dime-store makeup, and general lack of acting ability of the two leads. This could have been great: instead it made me shrug and move on. This movie edged out “Land of the Dead,” only because that movie had explosions and Dennis Hopper, two things that would have possibly made this one a bit more entertaining.

The Obligatory Stephen King reference: “Storm of the Century.” Billed as his first miniseries written exclusively for television, I remember loving this movie a little too much back in High School. Now that I’ve had a chance to see it again, it didn’t hold up all that well. I remember Andre Linoge being creepier, the storm being more devastating, the demonic references less obvious and the ending being a bit more screwed up. But still, it was a trip down memory lane, and didn’t make me laugh as much as re-watching “The Shining” did.

Number 10- Low budget laugh riot: “Red Riding Hood.” Not the Amanda Seyfried “Twilight-esque” retelling of the classic fairy tale, this one was on the same box set as “Shadows of the Dead,” and was infinitely better. It doesn’t try to be anything it’s not- the acting is over the top and hilarious, the blood is plentiful, the story is just barely there enough to keep it going, you see the ending coming almost from the beginning, and then it surprises you with the single most ridiculous twist I’ve ever had the privilege of sitting through. This film was worth all 60 cents I paid for it.

 

Oh Damn, I forgot one: “Wake Wood.” Timothy Spall + “Wicker Man” + “Pet Sematery” x Irish Countryside / Why wasn’t Christopher Lee in this movie too? = I want to see more.