Warning: The following article is satire. It is not meant to be taken seriously.
Rockville, MD: Bethesda Softworks announced today that they will release a version of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the TI-89 graphing calculator. In this unexpected move, Skyrim will now be accessible to math students everywhere.
“We are excited to bring Skyrim to a new medium,” said director and executive producer, Todd Howard.
Skyrim already has graced multiple formats including PC, Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PC, Playstation 4, Xbox One, and the Nintendo Switch as well as Skyrim VR. This will be the first time that the game will be done in black and white as well as in such an archaic format. Howard, however, expressed that they can indeed port the game to the TI-89.
“It will be a lot of work, but the pay-off will be great,” Howard said. “Just think of all those bored math students out there that have to interrupt their Skyrim game to do silly things like go to school. Now, they won’t have to.”
The TI-89 edition is expected to come out early next year and is expected to cost $59.99. Pre-orders are already piling up.
“Now I can buy Skyrim another time in another format,” said excited gamer, Billy Thompson who owns editions of the game for Xbox 360, PC, and the Nintendo Switch. “I already bought the game three different times, and I can’t wait to buy it one more time!”