Video games are a fantastic medium. They allow for a wide variety of concepts ranging from the high-art styled games from Santa Monica Studios to the bloody and visceral extravaganzas that comprise games like the new Wolfenstein series. Do you like sports? There are games for that. Building PCs? There is literally a PC Building Simulator. But they all have one thing in common. They are games.
Super Seducer on the other hand is NOT a game. It has vaguely game-like interactivity, but it is most definitely not a game. It’s an interactive tool to teach men how to pick up women by manipulation. It’s not fun, it’s not creative, and it’s definitely not a video game. But that’s only the beginning of where Super Seducer goes wrong.
Before we get going, we simply have to change what we call this, um, software however. It’s not a game. It’s more of an interactive educational device (and I use the word educational exceedingly loosely). That seems somehow fitting, so for the purposes of this review and an enthusiasm for double entendre, we’ll call it an IED. Let’s be honest, in this current era of women’s equality and respect for others, especially in the entertainment market, Super Seducer couldn’t be any more of an IED than it already is.
This particular IED stars ‘renowned’ British pick-up artist Richard La Ruina, who is apparently a real person, not a poorly chosen stripper name, and has written several books on picking up women. He also teaches very expensive courses on the subject (around $1000 USD for a weekend seminar), mostly to people who are socially awkward and have convinced themselves that learning how to pick up a woman through classes in a private bar is the way to begin a meaningful relationship. It’s depressing, shallow, blatantly manipulative, and somewhat pathetic, similar to Super Seducer itself, which I can only assume is a digital manifestation of La Ruina’s id.
Super Seducer starts off with you selecting the first chapter and jumps straight into a live action narrative of what you should be doing. In the first chapter, that’s approaching a stranger and convincing her to go on a date with you right then and there. There’s no tutorial, but you don’t need one. This is about as basic as interactivity gets; realistically, you could navigate this with a TV remote. As he gibbers on, you watch a live action video of ‘Gambler’ himself walking down the street. It’s more of a strut than anything, and judging by his attire, completely false. Yes, ‘Gambler’ is his pick-up nickname…apparently that’s a thing. I suppose it’s easy to find at least a few women of a certain type to easily pick up when you’re wearing a thousand dollar Hermes belt as a visible accessory and what appears to be a gold Rolex that probably weighs in at least at around $25,000. Some people might pick up on that (see, double entendres are awesome!), I’m just saying. I’m sure it can’t hurt your chances, even if you come off like pretentious eurotrash that can’t act.
He goes on to start to explain how to talk to women who are complete strangers on the street and then the IED drops into a decision tree system where you pick a dialogue option. Usually there’s the right one, two that are almost right, and one that’s pervy in a spectacular manner. Select the right option and you are, um, rewarded with La Ruina sporting a beard and what are probably fake glasses to make him look intellectual as he sits on a huge bed between two women in lingerie who look bored out of their skulls. One is lying on her stomach and has her feet kicked up so you can see her cleavage and that she’s wearing Louboutin pumps. Fancy. Rich, bored women with dead eyes like prostitutes are appealing, right? Oh, and there’s a heart in the corner to confirm that you made the right choice. Select the wrong option, and you’re punished with a view of La Ruina in the same outfit on the same bed, but no women and he’s chastising you for choosing poorly, kind of like the knight at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but with a broken heart in the corner to confirm you do in fact suck.
Navigate your way through this increasingly unrealistic social interaction and you may occasionally get told helpful tidbits such as “Good job, you got a fake number.” Apparently women are so two-dimensional that using scripted responses is the only way to get a date on a first meeting. Eventually, regardless of how you do, you’ll muddle your way through to the end of the first chapter. You’re then treated to La Ruina repeating every bit of advice verbally from each decision tree of the chapter, just to make sure you really got each and every bit of *cough* highly valuable information that he was doling out to you like a parent to a starving child. Yay! Oh, and you have to manually skip each part for added pleasure! But it’s not over yet…there are nine more virtually identical chapters, one for each of the ten least likely situations the average guy would put himself in! Heck, chapter two is all about how to get with a girl you don’t know while she’s out with a female friend!
By the end of the third chapter, if you haven’t killed yourself already, you’re likely considering it. Disclaimer: Neither I nor ROG recommend suicide for any reason, even after experiencing the world of Super Seducer. You might consider joining a women’s rights group though, as this IED is literally the antithesis of everything that women’s rights is about. It’s honestly painful to view most of it, with La Ruina’s pretentious lessons, his veiled references at pick-up techniques that aren’t explained (because you will likely rush out and buy his book, ‘The Natural – How To Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want’, right?), and the empty-headed portrayals of women who apparently have never seen someone try to obviously pick them up before. By the end of the third chapter, anger and disgust are a not-uncommon emotional state. There are no redeeming qualities to Super Seducer whatsoever. None. Well, that’s not entirely true. It was impressive how well the full-motion video played on my computer. That’s actually fairly uncommon and it ran smoothly and cleanly.
Essentially, what you should take away from all this is that Super Seducer is not a game at all, it’s offensively sexist and misogynistic, poorly written and acted, and a spectacular waste of everyone’s time. The only person who should be playing this vapid crap is Richard La Ruina himself, and he should be strapped into a chair like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange and be forced to watch his own advice over and over with his eyes held open and unblinking until he goes insane. If you’re at all interested in Super Seducer for any sort of dating advice, do yourself a favor and avoid it. In fact, let’s give you a few simple tips for meeting women (or men, really) right now in this review! You’ll be better off with these any day!
Tip 1: Women (and men) are people just like you. Talk to them like you talk to anyone else. Don’t objectify them, just treat them like you would want to be treated. It’s not hard. Get to know them, be respectful, and IF a relationship blossoms, things will take their natural course.
Tip 2: Just be yourself. Don’t come up with a scenario or a clever line, or say anything creepy. Talk to people normally. Most people respond well to simple respect and conversation. Conversation is becoming a lost art in our society and you’ll be surprised by how easily you can get to know a complete stranger by just chatting with them in an everyday fashion.
Tip 3: If someone tries to avoid you when you approach them, leave them alone. Seriously. I shouldn’t have to explain why, but I will. They don’t want to talk to you or interact with you. They’re not playing hard to get. Really.
Tip 4: If you’re trying to meet people, take a bit of care with your appearance. Don’t spend a fortune on an ensemble you wouldn’t normally wear, but respecting yourself means you can respect someone else. In many ways, you are what you wear. Don’t be old sweatpants and a faded metal shirt. Please.
Tip 5: Be confident. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it isn’t. If someone is talking to you and not edging away slowly with a wary look, they probably want to talk to you. No one is ‘too good for you’ or ‘better than you’. We’re all just people, and compatibility isn’t wholly related to looks. Personality matters just as much and it’s integral to relationships. So just talk to people and if it goes well, don’t question it, because we’re all humans.
There you go, five dating/relationship tips that are more valuable than anything you can get from Super Seducer and they’re free! It can’t really be said enough or any clearer, but here it is one more time. DO NOT BUY SUPER SEDUCER. It is utter garbage and should not be taken seriously in any way. If you get this IED for free, you’re paying too much. Avoid it at all costs. You’ll thank me later.
Addendum: A retail key for this game was provided for free for the purposes of this review.