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As Soccer Mania sweeps around the world, No More Robots (Descenders, Hypnospace Outlaw) and PanicBarn (Not Tonight) are officially announcing that Soccer Story, a comedy open-world RPG about saving the world with a soccer ball is launching on November 29th.

Everyone on the team is very pleased to be part of the one Soccer Story this year that instead of revolving around blatant corruption and human rights violations is instead about Pandas, Ninjas…and you know, an appropriate amount of corruption. – No More Robots

 

Ayear after The Calamity tore apart the very foundations of soccer (it’s called football actually) as we know it. Since then, Soccer Inc. has taken full control of the sport and has BANNED anyone from even CONSIDERING kicking a ball around. Christiano Ronaldo? More like, Ronal-no!

Luckily, a magical football has descended from the heavens and has chosen you, The Savior of Soccer, and, –you’ll get a kick out of this – you’ve been tasked with saving the future of the sport and bringing harmony to the world once more.Of course, there are two offsides to every story, so let’s give the obviously cartoonishly evil soccer-deniers the benefit of the doubt and let the story unfold.

  • Drop your soccer ball and play anywhere! The world is full of goals, puzzles and secrets – it’s up to you to find them!
  • Play a single-player story full of quirky characters, quests, rogue refs, and wacky soccer-adjacent sports
  • Build your soccer career and do battle against the fiercest soccer teams like literal sharks, toddlers, old-age pensioners, and ninjas
  • Save soccer and restore peace and harmony to the world
  • Grab a friend for a four-player local multiplayer match mode with a full roster of teams and animal captains
  • FISHING MINIGAME
If you aren’t into soccer and are a little overwhelmed (and/or are American), we’ll leave you with a quote from one of the greatest philosophers of our time, the late Johan Cruyff:  “If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”

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See the trailer below